Arabia confessionals
20:59 CONF: Quitehonestly, I don't give a fuck about the money. My goal here is something else... 21:02 CONF: Ryan Lochte is an asshole! I already want him gone. 21:07 Amanda seems quite shallow. I'm not sure if her worries about world issues are real or superficial. Let's see! 21:09 Is there any chance President is part of the Dark Army? And why am I openly talk about the Dark Army? 21:07 just because i'm female doesn't mean you have the right to tell me i'm on my period dick-nosed smackhead 21:17 I hope my tribe isn't shit i don't like a lot of them. 21:26 test 21:26 i'm just testing not confessing anything 21:27 i might as well say that president is a fucking twat communist stinky piece of shit i hate him so much. 21:27 and the roleplayers gyal she's a medieval dragon 21:28 idiotic wankers 21:05 I'm not good at many things. 21:06 However, after accidentally sending in a tape of myself falling off of my roof while hanging Christmas lights instead of my intended audition tape, I was deemed good enough to be on this show. 21:06 I know that they're setting me up to fail, and honestly; I probably will. 21:06 I have social anxiety. 21:06 And regular anxiety. 21:06 Everything's awful. 21:06 I'm screwed... 21:06 * JonArbuckle curls up in a ball 21:11 What IS an Ovivor, anyway? 21:11 What kind of nonsense word is that? 21:19 This twist is very stressful. 21:20 I'm not known for my conservation skills. 21:20 I go through stuff like crazy. 21:20 It takes me eight razors every morning just to shave. 21:20 I go through eighteen lasagna trays a week thanks to my fucking cat. 21:28 This is just like high school. The bros gang up on me. They tie me to the locker and start kissing me and calling me a "fag". That didn't even make SENSE. 21:28 I thought I screwed up the challenge, but it turns out I actually did it right. 21:28 I... was shocked, honestly. 21:28 Maybe this success is coming to me because I'm nowhere near my stupid fucking cat. 21:28 Fuck him. 21:28 He's so disrespectful. 21:28 Always bringing me down... 21:29 Eating my fucking lasagna. 21:08 Hey, viewers! It's me, Amanda! In 2011 I was crowned Miss Universe, but now I'm striving for an even more prestigious title! Miss Roleplay 2016! I love puppies, and world peace, and people of all skin colors! Vote for me! Teehee! 21:25 (CONF): Hey viewers, Amanda here! This challenge is kind of hard! No one has asked me about world hunger OR children in Africa! I don't know what I'm supposed to be doing! 21:29 (CONF): Amanda here! So... I have 9 votes, right? It would only make sense to use all 9 votes, because I want my wish to be SUPER strong! 21:27 CONF: This is a test... God's test to see if I really have all his power and glory within me 21:31 CONF: My tribe is full of non-believers, WHY GOOD LORD 21:31 CONF: Nicole is the only light in this darksided place, I need to keep that light close 21:30 whoa, uh, i can't believe we won the first......section of the game 21:30 i mean we're having a really, really fun time now. it's really good, it's like i won a medal 21:33 *in the midst of an idol search* 21:33 oh my gosh, there's....cacti here? 21:33 that's just.....that's just too crazy. 21:33 haha 21:34 so is there an idol like....in the cactus? 21:34 i'm gonna cheOW 21:34 well my hand is, uh..........it's fucked up 21:58 CONF: My tribe is tampering with the DEVIL, I TELL YOU! THEY ARE ALL EVIL 22:03 CONF: My tribe... is slowly seeing God like I do! Things are changing! Thank you, lord! 21:39 (CONF): I'll be honest dude, I came here for one thing and one thing only. To party. And this Ryan guy? Sick as balls dude. Love him already. Total bro, man. I like, sometimes get confused with twinks and shit. Like, I know he's buff but like he doesn't have hair so what does that make him? Like, I'm an otter. He's a swimmer. We could totes be a hot thing if we were like presidents together. It'd be sick. 21:42 President109 is actually a really nice guy. He likes me and treats me well... for some reason. 21:42 He's the only person here I feel like I can talk to about my problems. 21:42 I have many problems. 21:42 Mainly my cat. 21:53 Lily makes me scared of foreigners more than I regularly am. 21:53 It's not that I'm racist, or something 21:53 I'm just afraid of... most things. 21:54 I... I rarely leave my home. 21:54 Garfield doesn't like it when I leave... can't make him lasagnas. 22:10 I really like rocks. 22:10 When I was a kid, most of my friends were rocks. 22:10 There was Rocky, Rocky 2, Rocky 3, Rocky 4, Rocky 5, and Rocky Balboa! 22:10 They treated me better than any human ever did! 22:10 Also there was Creed, but he was a bit different. 21:55 (DR): I'm not talkin' a lotuhhh because I kind of hate my entire Tribeuhh.... 21:55 (DR): There's Marguerite, who I likeuhh, but the rest......are byad. 22:01 (DR): So I literallyuuhhh just influenced that entire voteuuhhhh......am I being a ryat? 21:58 CONF: I don't get why people just wasted 11 votes on me. Do it with the top dogs, I have no power here. 22:12 Are you kidding me? My one ally in this game is gone! 22:13 Spongetron was the only person who even talked to me about working together. Fuck that! 22:12 CONF: Upupupupu~! I may have malfunctioned round one, but I am back to my adorably despairful self! After causing the most despair enducing elimination round one, I am ready for more chaos! AHAHAHAHAHA! 22:16 No 22:17 STOP 22:17 don't touch me north american whore 22:18 CONF: We lost again! Oh well, it's time to figure out who the blackened is! I will be advising my team in the right direction... upupu 22:29 CONF: I sdid make an alliance with the Ultimate Politician, but ultimately as an advisor I have no vote! How despairing! Upupupupu~! 22:29 --Episode Three-- 22:20 I felt pretty good about winning that challenge, but then Marguerite pointed out that I'm not as good as Jesus. 22:20 Another woman choosing Jesus over me 22:20 This is just like Junior prom, when my date became a nun halfway through the night. 22:31 My tribe woke up! We did it! I ignited the flame they needed. Now those guys will use their brains. 22:33 Marguerita made an alliance and she invited me to it but sadly I like Nicole more over them so if they try to vote out Nicole I'll help her turn the vote around 22:33 Not that I should or anything because she's a twat but I'm a nice english person so 22:34 Bye 22:46 I want british wine and for katy perry to die 22:47 I'm gonna hook up with an arab and get him to blow her house up 22:47 Lol 22:54 I have no idea what happened 22:54 The host kept calling me a muslim and now I'm in a different tribe 22:54 like 22:54 ??? 22:55 I have a new alliance I'm gonna make sure it carries on until the end of the game 22:55 I like Marguerita a lot more now 22:55 Jk that's bollocks 22:56 She can die like jesus did for inspiration for my album Sheezus 22:56 You can buy my album on itunes 22:34 I think... that President... has a crush on Ryan. 22:34 * JonArbuckle giggles like a schoolgirl 22:34 Honestly, I wish it was on me, but 22:34 well you know 22:34 cuz I admire him so much 22:34 not sexually 22:34 I love you Liz 22:37 I don't like spices. 22:37 One time I accidentally bought medium sals 22:37 It was awful. 22:37 I got third-degree burns on the inside of my mouth. 22:53 So when prObst announced the twist had to do with pirates 22:53 I was naturally terrified 22:54 I've never pirated a DVD, let alone a boat 22:54 But then when he actually explained it, I was okay. 22:54 I would just hope everyone stayed loyal and stayed where they were. 22:54 But then... half my tribe left... and some new idiot came. 22:54 I was terrified. 22:54 I still am. 22:54 Now it's just me, President, Ryan, and the newb 22:54 At least maybe I won't be at the bottom of the totem pole anymore. 23:07 i... I won immunity 23:07 I... am immune. 23:07 I will never die. 23:07 HA HA 23:07 HA HA HA HA HA 23:07 * JonArbuckle falls over in seat 22:35 CONF: I have no alliances in this game, my only alliance here is with God 22:35 CONF: I have two different groups with Nicole and then with Lily, Jon, and President 22:35 CONF: I want them to turn against each other because God told me to look out for myself 22:36 CONF: He wants me to have all the power, as his warrior 22:43 CONF: This was God's test of my tribe's true faith and we won, I am proud! My tribe is holy! 22:44 CONF: We don't have to visit the banishing station where we send a non-believer to hell, thankfully! But, I still want to see who the non-believers on my tribe really are so God can give me the strength to send them away 22:50 CONF: This round has amazing things in store for me, Jesus said so 22:54 #GirlsOfGod 22:55 CONF: God sent me on a mission to change the non-believers because I am his strongest warrior! That is why I changed tribes 22:55 CONF: I want to stick with the girls so we can show Jesus how holy we are 23:02 CONF: Jesus has blessed Nicole and not me.... which is totally fine! 23:06 CONF: If there's one thing the great lord has taught me, it is to be kind to every being because you never know. That's what I'm doing in this game 23:06 CONF: I tell the bear that Lily needs to go, I tell the girls that Darlene goes home, and I tell Darlene that someone else goes home and I'm left in good graces because God has given me that power 23:09 CONF: I will survive! I have planted that seed and I will watch it harvest! 23:09 CONF: If anyone double-crosses me, Jesus has got my back 22:36 Nicole approached me and wants to work with me. The more the merrier. You don't start a revolution by yourself, it's a team work. 22:43 So now I have no votes and I could be going home. But we're a team, and we have to believe them. But those dudes are shady as fuck, so I'll keep my eyes open. 22:43 The plan is to vote for Amanda, btw. 22:43 CONF: Upupupu! These guys just cannot win! How shameful. These kids couldn't fight their way out of a paper bag! Let alone kill someone! I may have to help the killing get along... upupupu.... 22:56 --Episode Four-- 22:56 CONF: A mutiny eh?! How despairing! Upupupu~! I am ready to make new friends and manipulating them using their insecurities! It's fun being a psychopathic stuffed bear! Upupupu! 22:48 so, uh, do we come together, now? 22:48 o 22:48 i'm honestly not sure 22:48 i'm kinda mad I never really got to bang nicole, but, uh, that's not for anyone to know haha 22:35 CONF: I have no alliances in this game, my only alliance here is with God 22:35 CONF: I have two different groups with Nicole and then with Lily, Jon, and President 22:35 CONF: I want them to turn against each other because God told me to look out for myself 22:36 CONF: He wants me to have all the power, as his warrior 22:43 CONF: This was God's test of my tribe's true faith and we won, I am proud! My tribe is holy! 22:44 CONF: We don't have to visit the banishing station where we send a non-believer to hell, thankfully! But, I still want to see who the non-believers on my tribe really are so God can give me the strength to send them away 22:50 CONF: This round has amazing things in store for me, Jesus said so 22:54 #GirlsOfGod 22:55 CONF: God sent me on a mission to change the non-believers because I am his strongest warrior! That is why I changed tribes 22:55 CONF: I want to stick with the girls so we can show Jesus how holy we are 23:02 CONF: Jesus has blessed Nicole and not me.... which is totally fine! 23:06 CONF: If there's one thing the great lord has taught me, it is to be kind to every being because you never know. That's what I'm doing in this game 23:06 CONF: I tell the bear that Lily needs to go, I tell the girls that Darlene goes home, and I tell Darlene that someone else goes home and I'm left in good graces because God has given me that power 23:09 CONF: I will survive! I have planted that seed and I will watch it harvest! 23:09 CONF: If anyone double-crosses me, Jesus has got my back 23:13 CONF: The girls want the bear gone and God has always told me to put others before myself and what he says goes. Darlene better go next because she is a NON BELIEVING LIAR 23:13 (CONF):S Sorry, bro. It's a sad slam dunk today. SOrry I gotta crush your metaphorical puss, dude. Live long and prosper homie 22:36 Nicole approached me and wants to work with me. The more the merrier. You don't start a revolution by yourself, it's a team work. 22:43 So now I have no votes and I could be going home. But we're a team, and we have to believe them. But those dudes are shady as fuck, so I'll keep my eyes open. 22:43 The plan is to vote for Amanda, btw. 23:12 I'm not a fan of my new tribemates, but if I have to work with them, so be it! 23:13 It sucks I have no votes. 23:16 The girls are crazy, but I can't help but feel they're smarter than they look. I'm cautious. 23:17 They are apparently all turning on each other, but come on, they all mutinied from their tribe together. Coincidence? I don't think so. That's bullshit. 23:29 My speech was lowkey bullshit, but I gotta give some incentive. 22:48 so, uh, do we come together, now? 22:48 o 22:48 i'm honestly not sure 22:48 i'm kinda mad I never really got to bang nicole, but, uh, that's not for anyone to know haha 23:11 http://imgur.com/Y9FezLo 23:53 jesus i can't believe that even happened 23:53 is it not normal for a man to want to fuck a woman? 23:53 i'm just....some people are crazy. 23:57 honestly though, i can't believe i made the final seven 23:57 that's like..........................um................ 23:16 CONF: DARLENE IS TAMPERING WITH THE DEVIL AND LYING 23:16 CONF: SHE SAYS LILY WANTS ME OUT BUT LILY LOVES GOD 23:23 CONF: I just need the Holy Spirit to take over, this is too much for me 23:34 CONF: God has given me a second chance, I am so grateful for his glory 23:40 CONF: God truly is magical! He destroyed the one true evil in this game, Darlene, and revived me! 23:42 CONF: God and Nicole have brought to my knowledge that Jon is a dorksided person who ratted me out, he needs to go next 23:46 CONF: I have been listening in on the guys on Yanbu thanks to the lord's powers and Rezen is making a final 3 with Mono AND Ryan 23:48 CONF: They have seem to have forgot that I have ears all over, so I'm twisting Rezen's words and turning Nicole and Lily against him to get the non-believer out 00:00 CONF: Nicole is against Rozen, but God has told me we need Jon out for having too much power. Only Jesus can have so much 23:18 I... was too scared. 23:18 And my only friend... went home. 23:18 I didn't want to use votes. 23:18 I'm not good at decisions, you see? 23:19 Ideally, I want to go through this whole game without making any 23:19 but 23:19 because I didn't help 23:19 my friend went home 23:19 * JonArbuckle starts crying 23:19 this is just like 23:19 when I make a lasagna 23:19 and I want to just eat it with Liz 23:19 as a nice romantic dinner 23:19 but then 23:19 THAT FUCKING GARFIELD 23:19 FUCKING EATS IT 23:40 Well, Jon, you made the merge 23:40 That's farther than Liz thought you'd go 23:40 and your mom 23:40 and... Garfield 23:40 It's time to prove them all wrong. 23:41 Time to prove that Jon Arbuckle can do some... things 23:43 It seems like Ryan and Rezen want to work together going forward. 23:44 But I... I still don't feel like I should be part of the voting decisions. 23:44 I'm going to try... not to vote until I really need to. 23:44 The worst part of the merge is definitely seeing Marguerite again. 23:44 She... terrifies me 23:44 And she doesn't approve of my relationship with Liz. 23:56 I 23:56 am kind of upset I didn't get the tribe named after Liz. 23:56 But it seems like this vote is gonna be where some lines are drawn. 23:56 I plan to stay out of it entirely and cast zero votes. 23:57 Because I do poorly under pressure. 23:31 Oh my god so much is happening 23:35 Nicole told me Marguerite wanted me out so me and Nicole agreed to blindside Marguerite by telling her we were going to vote out the mutant bear 23:36 And I went and spoke to Darlene and asked her who she wanted out and she said Marguerite and I simply said "I see" and the globin decided to lie to Marguerite and say I told to vote Marguerite off 23:36 but I exposed her 23:36 And I was so ready for Marguerite to be SHOCKINGLY blindsided but... that couldn't happen. 23:37 I hope she goes out still 23:37 Not enough space for ill-looking back-stabbing whore bellends like her in this game! 23:37 * LilyAllen_ sips british wine and listens to her record It's Not Me, It's You on repeat 23:39 I can't believe Nicole told me to abstain. Had I used 1 single parchment on Marguerite she would be gone! But... Darlene was bound to go eventually. She too is a lying piece of stinky creamy dog shit. 23:51 Change of plans! Me, Nicole, Marguerite and the donkey bear are now allied against the boys from the other tribe. This will be interesting most definitely! 23:52 Almost as interesting as watching an american dive into a McDonalds hambuger... sometimes I even get scared and pray for them not to drown! 23:51 (DR): *sniffles* Cyan I just...sit in here a minute?? Ryan is trying to force himself ahn me...and....*sobs* 00:03 CONF: I need peace in my bussy, I need peace now... the only way I can do it is by voting out Jon 00:10 CONF: If I somehow go home, I will let God take my body and soul and use it to his liking 00:10 CONF: God is everything to me and has gotten me through this awful, dorksided test 00:13 CONF: Another vote that has gone my way thanks to God, I am so grateful 00:08 You smackhead stop making it hard for me to confess my hatred to every paranoid pie-eating douche in this game 00:08 I really feel bad tricking people into thinking I am voting for cute mutant the bear. I would NEVER. Jon is going home 00:08 Unlike the invisible prick that's Jon, the bear makes me laugh with his laugh. 00:09 Upupupupu..... that's what my husband says everytime when he's going down on me and the hairs tickle his nose. 00:17 CONF: Nicole has been like a child of mine throughout this game.... she needs to go 00:18 CONF: Ryan has no friends... he needs someone, he needs God. And God has me 00:19 CONF: Lily is my closest ally right now so we will go far together, we need to take out Nicole 00:27 This is banter 00:27 I can't even do the challenges because of slow Arabian wi-fi 00:27 That greasy goblin Rezen better not win anything or he's a certified kind of not retarded retard.... if that makes sense Marguerite_Perri CONF: I will NOT leave this game! God has tested me and I will pass with flying colors! 01:17 CONF: Either Nicole, Lily, or I are going home this round! God will pretect me! I gotta make some deals though 01:17 CONF: I told Rezen that I'm willing to vote out Lily, my friend, to get to f3 guarenteed 01:46 These fuck faces think they could stop me on my way to the f3... not today american whores! I am here to CONQUER. Not too long until my fourth album drops... guaranteed blockbuster American sales after this!